randori mind, control the chaos

I recently received an e-mail from one of my readers. He responded to some of my prior thoughts as follows… “here is my point: The most qualified candidate does NOT get the offer. The offer goes to the candidate the interviewers LIKED the most. In lucky situations and probably rare scenarios, those 2 people are one in the same. The difficulty is that nothing can be done about chemistry! So, some content on Likeability might be great for a lot of job seekers out there. I research the interviewers to learn about them, but The Human Nuance can never be conveyed through biographical content or even phone conversations.”

I agree, the Human Nuance is critical, but I disagree with the fourth sentence, something can be done, because it can be generated and conveyed under most conditions. Conveying emotions and generating interpersonal connections within seconds is common. So what is the Human Nuance? It has two names: neural mirroring and The Law of Reciprocity. These are terms for the feelings that we regularly have and call by a variety of other names. Here is your proof in the form of a few questions.

Have you ever walked into a room, either an office or a home, and felt tension, or humor, or some other powerful emotion? Have you ever met somebody and immediately burst into a beaming smile? In all of these situations you’re receiving the Human Nuance; that immediate emotional connection to another. Here is the real solution, you have received something and reciprocated, the Law of Reciprocity in action, as you mentally and emotionally mirror what you have received.

How about that job interview? The same cause and effect are in action and have identical results. When you engage another person, the timbre of the encounter is determined within milliseconds by what you give to them. So how do you generate the desired outcome? You give to the person exactly what you imagine you want to feel. Yes, far easier to say than do in the situation. It is very possible for you practice generating the positive Human Nuance by greeting everyone in the manner you want them to feel towards you.

Words in a blog do not convey the emotion; this can only be sensed in person or in a lesser degree on the telephone. Effectively conveying this emotional connection is what I show, demonstrate and have attendees practicing during workshops. It is the ingredient that makes every encounter memorable, it is your choice whether the memory is positive or not.

The writer that started this response is correct. When you’re the best qualified candidate and generate the Human Nuance properly you’re hired because there are none more accepted. When you’re under-qualified you’re hired because there are none more accepted. So is it qualification or acceptance that makes the decision?